It's been a while, hasn't it?

So it's been a while since I've last been on this site. I kind of get lazy sometimes. I've been busily working on ideas for my series of short stories I'm working on. Right now it's not going too well. I've decided that I'm going to release each short story as you find them in the book I'm working on. Maybe I'll get some insight on ideas by doing this. Who knows. So pretty much the basic idea behind the short story book is that each story is going to eventually going to be related to a later or earlier story. You'll understand better once you begin reading them. So once I get back home from my trip this weekend I will begin posting them as I did my Anatomy of an Astronaut series. I'll be back Monday, but will probably start posting on Tuesday. Save the date.

Your friend,
Michael Alcoser

The Anatomy of an Astronaut (Final)

So here is the final poem of the series. It's been a journey, but we made it through. I hope everyone has had a good time reading the poems. I appreciate everyone who has stopped by and read. It truly means so much to me. Well enjoy.

Good Morning My Dear. Did I Tell You Ever That I Love You? (Brown Eyes)

My ears rang
And my head felt like someone hit me with all their might
My mouth was dry
While my tongue was stuck to the inside

I heard a creak
And then fast paced steps vibrating the floor
With in seconds a hand grabbed my shoulder

"Did you have a good sleep dear?"
There she was...
Exactly how the balloon showed me it was going to be
"Let's get you cleaned up."
She ran her hand across my cheek
I got up from the hard wood floor
Then dusted myself off
As we walked by the window I looked out...

There in the middle of the yard stood the watchers
The male watcher smoking a cigarette
As the female watcher lifted her glass of white wine to her lips
They both smiled and waved

She took me by the hand
"Mikey... I've been waiting for you."

And this time
It was brown eyes that hypnotized me
"I know..."
I pushed some hair behind her ear

"But not as long as I've been waiting for this moment to spend forever, only with you."

- Michael Alcoser

The Anatomy of an Astronaut (Part Five)

So here is part five. This when I first wrote it was going to be the ending poem, but when I went back to read it again there was something that just didn't feel right. So a day later I went back and changed the ending to this poem and wrote a whole new one.

The Balloon Girl, and an Angel Named Fate

She stood holding balloons
"I'm glad to see that you're awake."
The balloon girl entered the room
"You did scare me though when you were talking in your sleep."
I knew exactly what she was talking about...
So I just smiled
"Maybe you should go back to sleep."
She sat on the edge of the bed
"Because you sure were talking much more then."
The balloon girl grabbed my hand
And then tied a red balloon around my wrist
"I want you to have this Mikey."
"It shows you who you really are if you look at it right."
"But make sure you know yourself before you try."
"Because if you look at it at the wrong angle, it will show you all your fears, and can ruin your life."
She gently tapped it
"How do you know you gave me the right one?"
I looked into the red balloon
What I saw was what I always dreamed
But never did I ever think it would come true
"So you can speak!"
She squeezed my jaw
"Just know Mikey, I don't make mistakes..."
Her smile made me believe she was something more than just the balloon girl
"How though?"
She looked me square in the eyes
"Go to that window, and tell me what you see."
I looked over to my side and saw the window
"Go on.”
So I tossed my blankets a side and stood by the window
"Well what do you see?"
I looked down to see a dove
"There's a crow sitting on the bench..."
I tried to trick her
But then I heard her begin to laugh
"Very nice, but you shouldn't lie."
"Just keep watching the dove. It's going to fly up to the window ledge on the count of 4."
So I turned back to the window
And just as it was planned
The dove flew up to the window, and sat there
"Mikey, come, sit back down."
I walked to the bed, but kept an eye on the dove
"Mikey I'm fate..."
She took my hand once again
"Everything has a plan, you meeting the watchers was not by chance."
"Everything..."
Her mouth was still grinning
But her eyes were telling me she wasn't lying
"How is everything planned? I don't get it."
"I mean. If we have free thought, how can everything be planned out."
She blew up laughing
"Mikey, please forgive me."
"No one has free thought. God designed us for our own personal missions."
"Sure everyone has different paths, and in that sense you have free thought."
"Do you understand?"
I was speechless
My whole world was rocked
"Just know you're doing exactly what God wants you to do in your life."
She stood up, and walked to the window
As she opened the window the dove came in
It perched on her finger
"Now Mikey, you know what you've needed to. I hope that puts you in a peace of mind."
I stood up
"No it doesn't! That scares the hell out of me! You're telling me that I have no control over my life."
She walked to me slowly
"It's time for you to go dear."
She then pulled down the balloon tied to my wrist
"I would love to chat more, but everything has a plan, and that's not part of it..."
She smiled as she pulled the balloon close to the dove
"Maybe in the future we'll meet again... But it really does all depend about our plans."
I looked into her eyes once more
Her smile
"Are you my angel?"
I asked one last question...

"You've got it."

And then I heard my balloon pop
Her smile grew as everything around me started blacking out
And once again I saw nothing
But this time I felt whole

Because everything seemed to come into place for the first time in my life

- Michael Alcoser

The Anatomy of an Astronaut (Part Four)

So here is the fourth part of the poem. Sorry no picture this time. Tomorrows will actually be the last picture poem. Well the series is almost at an end, and I hope everyone is having fun reading it.

Red Balloons Can't Fly Forever

The balloon took me up high
I was brushing the clouds with my feet
And then I heard a voice
"Where have you been?"
I looked around to find no one in sight
"I've been waiting for you to find me."
The voice spoke again
"God?"
I called out
"What? No..."
The voice became confused,
And that scared me

"Wake up now!"
The voice yelled as a lightening bolt struck, and popped my red balloon
I was falling
And fast...

"Wake up!"
The voice ordered me again
"I would! But I'm free falling!"
I screamed out of fear

"Do not be scared..."
A new voice that sounded like an old friend instructed me
To my left were the watchers
Just like I was
The watchers were falling down to the ground
But they were falling while they sat in their chairs
The male watcher lit a cigarette
As the female watcher lifted her glass of white wine to her lips
"Mikey, don't fear. She won’t let anything hurt you."
The male watcher took a drag of his smoke
"Plus, you already landed. We're just your thoughts, we don't really exist..."
The female watcher grinned

Just like that I woke up
No gentle voice
No beautiful girl standing in front of me
No struggle
I was just simply in a bed
And I found myself looking at the ceiling
Then I found myself thinking what the watchers were talking about
I looked at my arms to see if there was any injury from a big fall
But there was nothing...
I looked over to the door to find it standing wide open
Then to see the red balloon float by
And in the distance I heard foot steps
As if someone was running after the balloon
Was I not alone?
Who was there?
Then I heard a giggle
I closed my eyes in fear of seeing the watchers again

"So now you wake up..."
Her voice reminded me of the voice from my dream

So I opened my eyes
And it started to make sense...

- Michael Alcoser

The Anatomy of an Astronaut (Part Three)

Here's part three. This is one of my favorites. Enjoy.

Blue Eyes Tell No Lies As She Tells You about Life

I couldn't see the world around me
But like the male watcher told me
I wasn't scared...

A pounding began thumping in my head
And quickly it started getting louder
But then, as if there was no thumping and pounding to begin with
It was gone...

"They said you'd come."
I felt a soft hand touch my face.
"Just open your eyes, and know me."
The touch was as if silk was being ran over my cheek, and it gave me enough motivation

Beauty...
That's all I could think when I looked upon her
She was leaning forward
Her legs pushed together with her hands resting on her knees
Her big blue eyes were glowing
And for the first time I smiled

"Let us go Mikey."
She extended both hands to help me from the ground
"Where are we going?"
My mouth finally seemed to form words
"You aren't as quiet as the watchers told me you were."
She pushed her hair from her face
And once again I saw her eyes
They kept making me smile
"I don't think the watchers know me as well as they try to make it seem."
"I'm a little deeper than a rain drop puddle that they make me out to be."
I pulled out a cigarette
"Then don't smoke..."
She placed her hand over the pack of cigarettes
"Don't... Where does it get you? You get nothing out of it. So don't be as shallow as a rain drop puddle."
Her eyes seemed to hypnotize me
I put them back in my pocket
"You're a smart guy Mikey. You just need to start using your head."
But she pointed at my heart...
"Soon you'll learn how to use that, and when you put the two together... Well you'll get to see everything for what it is."
I looked long and hard at her
The breeze kept moving her hair into her face
She looked down
And as she did a red balloon floated by
As if it was fate she lifted her head back up
Just so I could have seen the red balloon
"You know what you need to do Mikey. Go find her..."
Her hand grazed my cheek on last time
"If you grab a hold of that balloon it will take you to where you need to go."
"So this is when you must leave."
She looked to her right
Over at the balloon
"Will I see you again?"
Her finger once again pointed at my heart
She then smiled, and pointed at the balloon
"Go..."
So I turned to run
And took a hold of the red balloon
Then began to fly

- Michael Alcoser

The Anatomy of an Astronaut (Part Two)

Here's part two of the series. It's still just building up. More to come tomorrow.

Having a Smoke, and Some Wine with the Watchers

They stood across the room
Both with all knowing smiles
They were called the watchers
They knew what was good for me
Even the things I didn't even know I would
"They'll tell you everything. Just listen..."
The girl with rainbow shadows let go of my hand
She then smiled, and walked away
I watched her fade away into nothing

Giggles began to echo through the room
I turned quickly to the watchers
It was as if they never moved
Their shoulders kept them leaning against the wall
I walked to them as if their gaze was drawing me into their power
"It's about time."
The male watcher grabbed my shoulder
"Let us talk."
The female watcher stretched out her hand
To lead me into the next room
We took our seats
The male watcher lit a cigarette
As the female watcher lifted a glass of white wine to her lips
"Do you know why you're here? Who we are, and what we do?'
I sat back knowing they wouldn't let me speak
"We are your inner thoughts. Your fears, dreams, and everything else you can think of..."
The male watcher pulled out a second cigarette
He extended his arm
Almost as if it was a peace offering
"Take this Mikey, and then take that path."
The male watcher spoke as I lit the cigarette
"Don't let it scare you..."
The female watcher smiled
"I know you're a good person. Hell, we live in your thoughts. No one knows you better than us."
I stood from my chair, and thanked them
As I walked from the desk I fell
I fell into a hole
And once again
I saw nothing

- Michael Alcoser

The Anatomy of an Astonuat (Part One)

So almost two years ago I went through some personal soul searching. This included drinking heavily and blacking out too many times for it to even be thought of as a joke. When I thought I knew who I was I sat and wrote a series of poems. I fell in love with some photos friends had, and asked them if I might be able to use them. To this day I think of this series as the best thing I've ever put to paper. I'll be posting them in a series so part two will be out tomorrow.



The Girl with Rainbow Shadows, and the Astronaut's Last Night

I lit a smoke as I took a seat and the rain began to pour around us
The tin roof was a drum set to be played by the falling rain
The smoke was thick
It fogged my vision
Not to mention the alcohol had begun to take its effect
Moments passed in to hours
And my eye lids fell
As did my body
There I was...
Passed out on the floor
I could see nothing
I could only hear, and feel the vibrations of the falling rain drops
Then nothing...
Nothing, nothing but a voice
An angelic sound blew into my ears
"Mikey, look at me... Look at me Mikey..."
The voice trailed
I tried to open my eyes
Each time I tried little rays of light poured in
And then,
Then I saw her...
Her profile was covered in shadows
While rainbows seemed to form around her
"Mikey..."
She spoke
"Are you ready to discover your soul?"
I took her by the hand
As she showed me the way into my heart



- Michael Alcoser

The Cause and Effect Stars Have In Space from the Point Of View of NASA

This poem I wrote in an attempt to make myself understand that not everyone is going to like everything I like. That one day I'm going to have to give up something I very much care for, and surrender it to the one I care for. Also that they can see me passion for them. As I read over it again today before posting it, I began to understand it a bit better.

The Cause and Effect Stars Have In Space from the Point Of View of NASA


Fear not the silence, but the hopes of things that will never become...
You are the astronaut
A dreamer, and for all it's worth
She may have been perfection, but not for space...
Listen, space is everything, but not to her
She'll never be able to look at the stars, and know what they mean

So conquer the stars, and when you do...
In the future

You can give them to her, and she'll see the love

True love

Then she'll surrender her heart

And in the echoes of space you'll say good bye

Because you were willing to give up what you love

All for the one you always loved...

- Michael Alcoser

Today has been a long crappy day. I haven't felt this lost and confused in a long time. Not since I wrote this poem last year.

Street Sounds, Oh Grand Street Sounds

The street felt narrow
And the stars weren't lighting a thing

My head felt heavy as I thought about all my troubles
My worries are what took me to the street to begin with

I was inches tall compared to the size of all the buildings that surrounded me
Pages of news papers caught on to my feet as if a person hanging from a cliff
In the allies next to my path
Cats knocked over old, empty bottles
And in the distance
Sirens screamed "Murder!" through the quiet night

A girl’s voice danced down the street
It was hypnotizing
My thoughts and worries left me as I searched for the source of the voice
So I listened...

"If you look long enough... You will find it."
The voice seemed to come from behind me

A single street light was the only thing lighting the angel I saw waiting for me
She was like something made out of nothing
And her halo gave her that extra glow
That made you gasp when you saw her beauty

She reached out her hand to take mine
As our hands made contact
The world went silent
Calm came over my body
So I went limp, and fell into her arms

"Trust in yourself, you'll get where you need to."
Her mouth formed the words which had escaped her ruby lips
"You maybe scared now, but trust me when I say, the worst has past."

With that she was gone
The street was once again dark
But this time it seemed the stars produced more light
So I walked

I walked for almost a day
Still nothing seemed clear


But my heart pounded

Just to let me know I was alive
And there was hope left in me

I just had to find it

-Michael Alcoser

What Haunts the Lily Garden, And the Secrets Known Only To God, And the Moon

So I wrote this a good year ago after watching a television show I cannot recall. After a few people read it they asked me why'd I'd write about people dying so much? My answer was always, just because someone dies in my stories or poems doesn't mean it's a sad event. Sure you should morn the person/character who passed on, but for the most part in my writing something deeper happens than just someone dying. And I feel that this poem is a perfect example of that.

What Haunts the Lily Garden, And the Secrets Known Only To God, And the Moon

The typewriter sat in the corner collecting dust
As the phantom,
Well the phantom was left hopelessly in love
Dust collected on piles of pages he wrote
Memories of a past life, of his one true love
Blue was the color of choice and prayer was necessary
He once spoke,
"What is your favorite flower? Cause if you promised to love me. I'd promise to leave one on your pillow before you come to bed."
He grew her flowers, and they both kept their promise
His love knelt in the lily garden one day,
She looked up to the heavens and cried out,
"Silly children we were! Fate has no meaning, and God please protect me."
"I let go of all the stars in my sky. I flooded the sun so it wouldn't burn brighter than my love for him."
"And still you... You felt you had to remove the one I loved from this world."

The phantom came to his love's bed as she slept

"Love... I'm always here for you. May the lily garden give you peace."
"You are my heart, and I won’t step a foot into heaven, or any bright tunnels of light."





"Not until you're good and ready to join me as I do hand in hand."


"Oh, and Darling take your time. Smell your lily I lay out for you."

The phantom smiled and walked to the desk in the corner of the room.
He looked out the window, closed his eyes, and prayed...

"Let me stay, and please God never tempt me with the offer of another home."
He blew the dust from the typewriter,


And began a poem,

One of what would be many, all for her...

So I usually start off with this poem because what it means to me. When I was very young I had several blows to the head from different events, which in turn left me very spacey. I would ofter stare off and loose focus. This made my mother give me the nickname "The Space Cadet" as the years went on I felt the need to change it. Nothing to drastic, but something that would fit me. When I was 16 I wrote this on the back of a napkin. It came pouring out of me. A short to the point poem about myself and an old friend who never seemed to feel the same as I did. From the years since then my character has eveloved a bit, but has been recently killed off. I will be releasing those later on. For now please enjoy.

The Astronaut

Despite the words that tapered from your mouth, I ran back into space.
To learn all to well to forget this place…

Soon the stars will fall, but first we will break. Since it will take far too long to think.

Whispering. We’ll fade away…
Into starlight,
The Astronaut waits…

- Michael Anthony Alcoser

Curbside Stories

So here's a poem I wrote last year when my mom sold our old house. It was the first place I had lived at for more than a year or two. I have great memories there, and bad ones as well. After moving the last box out of the house I sat on the curb looking at the road and the cigarettes that had blown infront of our house. I then began to look all about the street remembering the rollerblading on the smooth street when I was young. Now they had been cracked and broken from all the floods my street endured. I haven't been back to my old house since last New Years Eve. I'm not sure if I will, but I'll always have That Old Road.


Curbside Stories Told at That Old Road

That old road
It welcomed me back
The friendly cracks seemed to laugh and remember the times
When we would drive on it and it would shimmer in the cascaide of the head lights
Cigarette butt's lined the curb
Each with a different story
Each story with a different ending
Yet the settings seemed the same
As did the poeple in it

That old road never seemed to mind
It welcomed me back with every visit

"Mikey, you've grown. I remember you when you were just a boy."
"When you would run and hide from all that scared you."

That old road
It welcomed me back
The cracks that were once friendly
Turned into unforgiving pot holes

"Mikey, you've grown..."
"Time has changed us both..."
"Forgive me if I don't remember you tomorrow..."

That old road...

- Michael Anthony Alcoser

The First Post

So I finally took the time to sit down and make myself a blog page. Thanks to a good friend Mavin showing me how, this task proved to be a bit easier than I once thought. So yeah, here is my blog where I'll be posting a bunch of my work (Poems/Short Stories) in attempt to find out if what I'm writing is actually stuff the world would read. Well I hope everyone enjoys, and if you don't that's fine too.

- Michael